You wake up.
You pull your crusty eyes open.
The room’s still spinning.
“Yes,” you whisper in internal celebration.
You’re in your own bed.
That’s a win.
You slowly raise your heavy head northward to reassure yourself that you aren’t dead.
Your belly rumbles.
You can’t tell if he’s asking you for food or asking you to poop.
So you poop.
You feel marginally better. You go from 10% human to 14% human.
Next task: food.
You zombie over to your refrigerator to find…
…nothing.
You swing your pantry door open to find…
…nothing.
You consider ordering UberEats per usual, but you decide you can’t justify paying $26.99 for $8 worth of Taco Bell after spending half your paycheck on colorful drinks that you didn’t even really like.
You fall to your knees and raise your fists to the ceiling yelling “WHYYYYY! WHYYYY MEEEEE!”
Just kidding. That would be an odd thing to do in this situation.
What do you do in this situation?
Or better yet, what do you do to prevent this situation?
You buy the ONE ingredient that will always be there for you on mornings like this.
An ingredient that will settle your tummy.
An ingredient that will console you for texting your ex at 3am.
An ingredient that will hold your hair back if you need to vomit.
An ingredient that will binge watch The Office with you for the 17th time.
An ingredient that will pat you on the head and tell you everything is okay.
You buy miso paste.
Miso? Paste? What is? It?
Miso paste is the delicious base of miso soup (woah!) made from fermented soybeans. Not much more to say other than it’s a super deep, excellent flavor mashed into a paste.
There’s a lighter “white miso”, which has the mildest flavor, and “red miso” that is aged longer and has bolder flavor and higher salt content.
Besides the obvious [see below], it can be used for a ton of stuff. It’s great in salad dressings, meat marinades, etc.
Here’s the one I get from my market:
Best part is, get yourself a little tub of miso paste and it will last you up to a year in the fridge, due to its fermentation and salt content.
Many uses + long shelf life = staple ingredient.
I’ve been on record as someone who’d drink broth from a tumbler out in public if it were deemed socially acceptable, so being able to have this kind of thing on hand at all times is a must for me.
Drinking miso soup in the morning is like a warm blanket for your body and a gentle hug for your soul. While sitting next to a fireplace. And it’s snowing outside. And it’s Christmas. And that coworker you hate just got fired.
Really quick
To any Koreans reading and wondering —
“Why did you write this about miso soup instead of doenjangjjigae?”
Well, I love doenjangjjigae (A Korean bean-paste stew, if you don’t know, it can be vaguely described as the Korean counterpart to miso soup).
My answer is, something deep in my DNA doesn’t really allow me to make a “bastardized” version of doenjangjjigae. I can literally feel my great-great-grandmother’s ghost standing over my shoulder with a stick ready to beat my metaphorical ass if I do anything weird to it.
When I make doenjangjjigae, I want it the “right” way, which means going out to get the right veggies and ingredients that I don’t usually have on hand and making it carefully to Korean taste.
That said — a quick note on “authenticity” and doing things the “right” way. Some people trip about having everything exactly as it’s supposed to be with the exact right ingredient (like me and doenjangjjigae).
I have a lot of strong opinions and I’ll eventually write a way-too-long article about it, but in my opinion, the bottom line is this:
In your own kitchen — who gives a shit?
Use whatever makes the process easier for you, use whatever you have on hand, and most importantly, use whatever makes it taste good to you. Stray as far away from authenticity and “the right way” as you want.
Unless you’re selling your food in an “authentic” restaurant or you’re having your Italian girlfriend’s nonna over for Italian food — don’t worry about it.
Yes, creamy alfredo and pineapple pizza, nonna will love this
bastardized egg drop miso soup
The goal here is to create something so simple that you can crawl to your kitchen blind and sick, put some heat to the pot, and just let it go while you crumple to the floor, resting your pounding forehead against the cool kitchen tiles next to your dog’s food bowl.
To demonstrate the dead-person-hangover-ease-ability of this soup, if you really wanted to, you could just heat up 2 cups of water and add a 2 tablespoons of miso and it would be miso soup-y-ish enough.
It will be miso-soup-y enough.
If you look up any legit Japanese recipe, they’ll all say “It’s not miso soup without dashi (Japanese stock).” Real miso soup stock needs kombu (dried seaweed) and katsuobushi (dried bonito fish flakes).
I don’t have easy access to katsuobushi, so I use what I always have on hand.
You, also use what you have on hand.
My version is kind of a combination of Japanese (miso), Korean (stock), and Chinese (egg drop) all in one.
Ingredients:
Serves me (one big guy) as a full meal. This would feed my girlfriend twice.
Necessities:
2 cups of water [better with stock, see below]
2 tbsp. of miso paste
Elliott’s version also needs:
1 egg, beaten well
half an onion, diced
[For stock] ~ 3-4 Korean stock anchovies
[For stock] ~ 2 square inches of dried seaweed (kombu)
scallions for garnish
a bowl of rice to eat on the side
a few sprinkles of MSG
Extras / Replacements / Options:
chicken / veggie / any stock (instead of anchovies / dried seaweed / katsuobushi)
tofu
any sturdy green like chard, cabbage
noodles
mushrooms
carrots
radish
potato
garlic
peppers
whatever the hell you want just throw anything in it sheesh
Steps:
1 - Heat up your 2 cups of water to a near boil / simmer.
I use a Korean ttukbaegi which is the greatest soup pot ever if you are someone who appreciates having boiling hot soup for an extended period of time. You cook in it, eat out of it, less dishes, life is good. But any pot is fine.
2 - Prep your ingredients. Dice the onions, chop your scallions, beat the egg. If you’re using bigger dried anchovies, you need to remove the heads and the inside “black part.”
Trust, it sounds grosser than it is. It’s all dried. If you forget to take these out, it leaves a bitter taste. It’s necessary.
3 - Make your stock. If you’re making my version, add your kombu (dried seaweed) and anchovies into the simmering water. You can add the onions here now too (not scallions). Let it simmer for at least 10-15 minutes.
For the uninitiated: all stock is basically flavored water. Chicken stock? Chicken flavored water (ew). Whatever stock you use is the base for your entire soup, it really makes it what it is. Real Japanese dashi (stock) needs kombu and katsuobushi (dried bonito fish flakes). This anchovy / kombu is a more Korean dashi. Use whatever you have.
If you’re using any of the “extras” — adding things to the soup is just about timing. Tougher ingredients like carrots or potatoes need to be added from the start because they take longer. Something softer like tofu or mushrooms can be added later because they don’t need as much time to cook.
4 - Remove the kombu and anchovies.
I use these little “stock bags” that make life 1000% easier. Put the dried anchovies and kombu in this, close it up, and put it in the water. Easy to take out after.
5 - Bring the heat down until it’s just under simmering (no bubbles). Stir in the miso paste.
Important! Miso loses it’s flavor when you boil it. That’s why we need to bring the temp down and do it right at the end.
Miso is a little chunky. I’ll usually put the spoon with the miso in one hand, lower it into the soup until it’s just touching, then use chopsticks or any other utensil to stir the miso to blend into the stock. I’ve also heard other people will take a little bit of the hot water and mix it into a small bowl with the miso. (my way has one less bowl to wash)
5 - Slowly pour the egg mixture in a small stream all around the soup, then give the soup a GENTLE mix ONCE. Then let the eggs set. Take it off heat after a minute.
This is kind of all about how it’s going to look. If you want that beautiful, lacy egg drop look, make sure you beat the egg really well so there’s no clumps. Before you pour the egg, swirl your soup into a little tornado. Then when the soup is spinning, slowly pour in a tiny but continuous stream in a circle into the soup. Sometimes I’ll be pouring the egg with my left hand and I’ll lead the “stream” between two chopsticks with my right hand to make it even finer, but not necessary.
Messing any of this up won’t affect the taste so don’t worry about it too much. You’ll get better at it every time.
7 - Sprinkle MSG to taste.
If you’re wondering what sets Asian restaurant soup over the top from homemade, it’s this.
6 - That’s it. Top with scallions and serve with a hot bowl of rice.
Or pour it in a mug and drink it like hot cocoa.
Allow the miso to alleviate your broken body.
I have many, many hangover cures. (hence the pt.1 in the title).
What are your cures?! I’m genuinely curious. Leave a comment and tell me what fixes you after a night out.
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Now I want miso soup even though I don't really get hangover...