I ate like a garbage can this weekend. Like absolute shit.
Three days in a row I devoured greasy bbq meat and fried chicken and drank my weight in beer.
(I’ve recently mastered the art of frying chicken quickly and easily at home which has been the bane of my existence)
By Sunday night I could literally feel my body looking at me like
So my girlfriend proposed we eat as healthy as possible all week, and I was quick to agree. I went out and got a bunch of fresh veggies and avoided the chips aisle like a good boy.
Why was it so easy for a slavering carnivore to be convinced into eating like a rabbit for the rest of the week? (other than the fact that my body was starting to reject me)
Because of the Sauce.
The sauce God would use if he had his choice of condiment. The sauce that was created on the 8th day. The sauce that has put an end to countless wars. The sauce that was voted Time Magazine’s Person of the Year.
Eat this with spring rolls. Mix it with rice. Fold it into noodles. Top it on crispy shrimp. Slather it on a burger. Cut up raw veggies and dip it. Cut off your fingers and dip it.
I’m telling you you can literally lather this sauce on your favorite book and you would only ever use that book again as a conduit to consume more sauce.
(I just noticed I said slather and then lather. Are those both words?)
Make a big batch of this easy-as-hell recipe and hide it in the corner of your fridge so your kids can’t reach it. Sneak out in the middle of the night to look at it fanatically and whisper “my precious.” Make your significant other force you to go to therapy because you’re being weird.
Don’t do most of those things, make this sauce though
Spicy, Peanutty God Sauce w/ a Side of Spring Rolls
Ingredients:
For sauce:
1/2 cup smooth peanut butter
3 tablespoons sambal
2 tablespoons fish sauce
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon dark brown sugar
For spring rolls:
Rice paper
Literally any vegetables you want. I typically use:
Lettuce
Bell pepper
Cucumber
Carrot
Cilantro
Any protein (or no protein). I usually use shrimp or shredded chicken
Steps:
For sauce:
1 - Whisk together all the ingredients in a bowl. Add a little bit of warm water if you want to thin it out.
Sambal is an Indonesian chili paste that you’ve probably seen at Asian restaurants like Pho. It’s pretty popular now and is available at most markets, if not then your Asian supermarket. You can substitute with something like Sriracha, but trust me Sambal is the best for this.
You can get creative. Add some lime juice. Sub honey for brown sugar. Replace the spicy with something spicier. Only necessities are peanut butter, soy sauce, and fish sauce.
The warm-water-thinning depends on the consistency of what you’re going to use it for. I like it super thick when I dip rolls in so I don’t really add any. But if I wanted to make some peanutty noodles, which all you literally need is this and some instant ramen noodles, you would need to add some of that hot starchy noodle water to make it thin out and cling to the noodles.
For rolls:
1 - Chop all your veggies into strips (Julienne).
2 - Fill a bowl with warm/hot water. Submerge a rice paper sheet into it for about 7-15 seconds, then put it on a cutting board. Arrange your ingredients into a roll.
Arranging is an art. I usually lay a piece of lettuce down and then neatly stack the rest after, herbs like cilantro finishing on top.
3 - Roll it. I roll from the bottom first, fold in the sides like a burrito, then finish rolling.
To be honest I kind of suck at rolling these but the gummy rice paper is actually really forgiving. Just practice and it gets easier. As long as it holds the insides long enough for you to dip into the sauce and get in your belly who cares.
Let’s be honest you’re only making the spring rolls so people don’t judge you for eating this sauce by itself with a spoon.
Enjoy therapy
tell me about the ensuing addiction problems you experience from this sauce
Nothing helps me more than sharing it, whether online or word of mouth. Tell someone that might appreciate this newsletter.
If you somehow found this email and aren’t subscribed, subscribe now. Don’t be a weird lurker.
We cook with a ton of Sambal in Amsterdam. Can’t wait to try this!
Sambal?! I'll get it from Asian market tomorrow.