Cooking sucks until it doesn’t suck anymore
Hello, I’m Elliott.
I’d like to preface this all by saying that I’m not classically trained in cooking whatsoever. I’ve never really worked inside a kitchen outside of waiting tables at the pool of a fancy resort.
I’m just a writer that started cooking to feed myself and impress girls.
I honestly had no idea how much my life would improve just from learning how to cook. How? It led to…
saving tons of money
cooking better food than most restaurants around me
sex life drastically improving, then meeting the love of my life
forcing everyone to like me for cooking shit that’s actually really easy to make
And as someone who’s:
cheap and lazy
not professionally trained
only started cooking about 5 years ago in order to not die while living alone in a different country
…you can understand my enthusiasm for it.
So it was a little weird to me when I realized how few people actually like to cook. I’ve subconsciously been thinking about it every single day for five years now.
Why is it that people get so turned off from cooking?
The conclusion I’ve come to is that:
a) There are some really simple mindset shifts that make cooking seem harder than it is
Like really simple. Like move this pan over to this place simple.
And…
b) It’s all the foodies’ fault.
I think a lot (not all) of cooking media portrayed by snobby foodies and celebrity chefs is kind of hyper-targeted towards a group of food nerds — which in turn really alienates people who don’t yet cook or are just starting to learn.
They do and say little things that make cooking seem like this magical, perfect, unreachable place, which makes it seem intimidating, stressful and exhausting to the average person.
Fuck all that.
It’s easy. It’s accessible. And it’s whatever you want it to be.
The only thing I like more than cooking and writing is teaching and sharing something I enjoy with other people.
As someone who was relatively recently new to cooking and understands what it’s like, I just want to help as many people into the kitchen as possible in the least intimidating, most frictionless way possible.
I’ll do that here by:
Not explaining things like an asshole
Telling hilarious, funny, relatable stories along the way
Giving simple, actionable tips, tricks and mindset shifts
Providing lots and lots of pornography (food, that is)
Teaching my personal recipes that taste like a thousand orgasms, impress the opposite sex to no end, and best of all - are super easy to make.
*thousand orgasms not guaranteed*
At the very least, my hopes are that you’ll be able to add one or two signature dishes that you can make for your next date. Hopefully make you laugh once or twice along the way, too.
My highest hopes are that I can help you hit that switch that makes cooking one of the most satisfying, relaxing, and amazing routines you’ll ever have. A whole new way to express love and creativity with the best people in your life.
Kapeesh?
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