I always found it a bit annoying when people older than me would constantly warn me of what hangovers would be like when I got older.
I’d be stewing in my own hangover in peace, not bothering anyone, and someone a few years older would come by and stick their face two inches away from my face and say
“OH YEAH BUT JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU’RE [whatever arbitrary age] THAT’S WHEN HANGOVERS REALLY SUCK”
Thanks.
I didn’t ask.
Always, I didn’t ask.
And then I’d get to that arbitrary age, once again floundering about in a hangover (still not mentioning it to anyone) and that very same person would somehow show up, touching their face to my face screaming
“OH YOU THINK THAT ONE’S BAD HUH? JUST YOU WAIT UNTIL [next arbitrary age],” spitting in my face and eyes and brain.
how does this guy keep getting into my apartment?
But it’s true, hangovers do not age well. I think back to my college years of drinking a truckload of plastic-handle-vodka and bouncing up to go to my 9 am economics class, laughing about it with friends as we cracked beers open the next day to play beer die.
We didn’t have hangover cures because we didn’t need hangover cures.
That has changed.
My whole life I’ve believed there’s only one true hangover cure:
Dousing yourself in ice cold water. Nothing beats jumping in the ocean or an icy shower.
I got a bit older, moved to Korea, and discovered this little number in my adult years.
It’s a combination of herbs and such. You take these weird-tasting balls with some water before you drink. For small-to-medium-sized hangovers, it actually works.
But what about food cures?
People swear by their greasy foods, their fried treats, their soups and ice creams. To be honest, I don’t think food actually cures hangovers (at least for me). But we do get super intense cravings that can be satisfied, at the very least.
I have many hangover cravings. I wrote about the magic of miso last time.
Today, nothing beats the home-y comfort of chili.
The Best Chili.
Chili kind of seems complicated. Yes, there are a lot of ingredients. But it’s one of those things where you can literally just throw it all in a pot and let it go on its own.
Ingredients
1-2 pounds ground beef / pork
A 1/2 teaspoon of each (or to taste)
Smoked paprika, garlic powder, cayenne pepper, onion powder, oregano and cumin. And anything else you feel like.
1 can of tomatoes
1 tbsp. tomato paste
1 onion diced
1-3 jalapenos finely diced
4-8 cloves garlic minced
1 cup of beef/chicken broth
1 cup beer
1 tablespoon brown sugar
salt and pepper to taste
Extra: ~ 4 dried peppers
Optional Toppings
sour cream
red or green onion
cheeeeese
jalapenos
cilantro
avocado
croutons or tortilla chips
Simple Instructions
I just want to note that the very first chili recipe I ever followed (and still kind of follow) has four directions:
Brown the ground meat and throw all the seasonings in. Remove from pot
Add onions, jalapenos, garlic and cook down a little bit
Literally throw every other ingredient in, mix, and let simmer for about an hour.
Add toppings.
When you look at it like that, it’s pretty simple. Chili’s basically a mix of ground meat, canned tomatoes, some veggies, and seasonings.
If it’s your first time, I recommend just doing that. It’ll come out freakin’ delicious.
But, I’d be remiss if I didn’t show you how I did it that makes it the best chili ever (that two people have told me).
The Way I Do It (w/ more detail)
My “secret ingredient” comes from the dried peppers, where you’ll have to begin by making a rehydrated dry pepper paste.
With the dried peppers, remove the stems and seeds. Tear them into small ~1-inch pieces.
Dry roast the chiles (no oil or anything) in a skillet until they get dark and fragrant.
Lower the heat a bit and rehydrate them by adding just enough water to cover them. Let them simmer for about 5-10 minutes.
Add the chiles and all of the liquid into a blender and blend.
This chili paste adds a huge layer of extra flavor to your chili.
For the Chili
1 - Combine the ground meat with all of the seasonings, brown it all over and break it up in the pot. Then remove from pot.
No need to measure honestly. A few heavy shakes of each. Heavy.
2 - Add some more oil to the pot and brown the onions first for about 5 minutes, then add the jalapeno and garlic.
3 - Next, add the tomato paste. Let this cook down for about a minute or two.
4 - Add the canned tomatoes. If they are whole, break them up in your hand before adding into the pot.
5 - Add the beer, broth, sugar, and rehydrated pepper paste we made earlier. Mix it all up and let it come to a boil.
I’ve subbed red wine before and it was really good too. Darker beers will be richer and more flavorful.
6 - Let it simmer without covering. It’ll take an hour, maybe more. You’ll know when it’s done when it’s the desired your desired consistency.
Once you get near, taste it and adjust. Maybe it needs more salt, pepper, any of the seasonings, or sugar.
7 - Top with cheddar cheese, green onions, cilantro or any other toppings. Eat with some crusty bread, crackers, or nachos.
Chili is by far the best condiment for literally anything else. Put it on a hot dog. A burger. Fries. Omelette.
That’s how it’s done. As you can see, this is an incredibly customizable food. It’s like one of those recipes from those old medieval cartoons where they throw a ton of shit into a pot to make a stew and just keep adding more stuff to adjust.
In other words, it’s very forgiving. So although there are a lot of spices and ingredients, you can omit or add a lot of things, pretty much except the ground meat and tomatoes.
What do you crave the most in your most miserable hungover state - comment 👇🏻
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Slurms MacKenzie!